Poker Face

Pa pa pa poker face pa pa poker face

I had the opportunity to play poker with a group of guys a few weeks ago.  Before heading to the game I did a little homework and studied up on whether a flush beats a straight or vice versa (a flush DOES beat a straight as it turns out.).  Having studied up on the rules I felt pretty good about how the night of poker would turn out.  When I arrived at the poker party that evening I discovered just how unprepared I was.

There was a ringer there who went by the name “Slim”…and he had a cowboy hat.  Son of a Mother!  I instantly felt “Out WhataBurgered” and was envious of both the nickname and the hat.  I felt like I had studied my English lit book in preparation for an Algebra test.  How could I have been so foolish!

Studied the wrong thing…wha, wah.

I should have spent the bulk of my time concocting a poker outfit that conveyed the persona I was wanting to achieve.  I could have been the ” indoor sunglasses” guy, or the “sideways ball cap” guy, or the “dressed in a tux” guy.

The nickname is a little bit trickier.  You can’t create a nickname for yourself.  Well, I suppose you could, but people are going to think you’re a moron if you go around to everyone and tell them you want to be called “Pickles”.  To achieve a nickname you need to do something nickname worthy; like spill your coke on the table and then drink it all up through your nose with a straw, or be able to burp the pledge of allegiance, or have Martin Van Buren sideburns.  Yeah, I know, those examples stink, which is probably why I don’t have a nickname.  Maybe next time I’ll go with sideburns and see what that gets me.

Next Poker Night Outfit

Despite my failings, luck was on my side and I got the cards I needed to win a few hands.  Maybe “Winner” isn’t a bad nickname…(crickets chirping in the background)…Nah, I think I’ll try the sideburns thing.