The Mysterious Disney Vault

As a father of a young daughter I’ve become increasingly intrigued by the Disney Vault.  Every time we’re at the store I’m always curious as to see what new movie has made it out of the mysterious vault and on to the shelves, and with all the mystery surrounding the vault, one thing is relatively certain…Song of the South will never be released on DVD.

I was in the store just this past week and I saw what appeared to be a DVD copy of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I got a bit excited, because my daughter really enjoys this movie (we’ve checked out the library copy.  The library copy is a bit sketch and doesn’t play very well; skips and stops and what have you.). Upon closer inspection of the DVD box I finally figured out that the box was just something you could bring to the front of the store and buy to reserve your copy of a new “Diamond Edition” of the Disney classic, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The actual movie is set to come out on Blue Ray/DVD October 6th.

Diamond Edition watch

The Diamond Edition!?  Diamond Edition?  I guess someone had to be the first to be ballsy enough to go there.  I think up until now a product had to be covered in actual diamonds to be considered a diamond edition.  To even contemplate the creation of something as flawless and brilliant as to be classified as a “Diamond” edition baffles and astounds.  The mere attempt is awe inspiring.  I’m guessing credit cards, video games and gym memberships will follow suit.  I’m also guessing the Diamond Edition of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs will undoubtedly clean my house for me, scratch my back, make me a tuna sandwich at the exact moment I begin to have a craving for one and complete me in all areas in which my life is lacking.  Maybe at the very least the new “Diamond Edition” will clean my DVD player and allow me to change Snow White’s hairstyle.  Diamond Edition.  Diamond Edition, are you kidding me?  Where else is there to go beyond Diamond, the hardest natural material known to man.  This Disney Blue Ray/DVD crafted to “Diamond”esque quality is sure to knock the socks off of both you and me.

Socks gone!

Experiencing Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs through the eyes of Sleepy Dwarf

So what will this “Diamond” Edition have that previous versions did not?  Well, I found a list of some of the features here, but I think Disney has some extra surprises up their sleeve for this “Diamond” of a film release.  Below is list of features sure to be on the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: Diamond Edition Blue Ray/DVD.

How about viewing the movie from the perspective of each character in the film?  Until now I’ve merely sat and watched Disney’s first animated full length feature film.  Once the Diamond Edition comes out that’s all gonna change.  I’d like to experience the story unfold as seen through the eyes of each individual character, a feature undoubtedly a part of the version to end all versions.

What's this guys deal?

The new edition will have fully animated back-stories for each of the characters.  What’s the back story for that dude sent to kill Snow White?  Is his name Henry?  What does he do in his spare time?  What are his hobby’s?  Does he like his toilet paper to roll over or under?  Rest assured all will be revealed in the larger than life “Diamond” Edition.

Every aspect of the production process will be a part of the new version.  What did Walt Disney have for breakfast on the 52nd day of production?  Was it a rainy day when animator Robert Stokes drove to work on production day 18?  What color was his car?  Did the brakes in his car stick?  All these will be answered.  “Bah, surely not!” says you.  “This isn’t the platinum edition.”, says I.  “Why did you go all pirate talk just then?”, says you.  “I digress.”, says I.

The big question is, how long will we be afforded this new bejeweled edition of the Disney classic?  Hopefully the new edition will be allowed to stay on shelves for more than a few weeks, but with Disney who really knows.  We may just get one shot at this and then it’ll be back into the vault for 5 years?  10 years?  If you have a clue, then your guess is better than mine.