not-had-coffee-yetIn the mornings at work I’ve noticed that sometimes, when someone does a particularly dumb something, they’ll often say, “I haven’t had my coffee yet” to excuse their blatant stupidity. I’m sure you too have observed this phenomenon. Phil will be changing the tank to the water cooler, slip and fall, and dump the whole thing on his crouch and say the old adage, “I haven’t had my coffee yet.” Maybe Bernice in accounting staples page two on the front of an expense report and the boss gets irritated, but then Bernice says, “Argh, I haven’t had my coffee yet!” and all is forgiven.Continue reading

Guy in a Kelly Green T-Shirt

Kelly Green. The shirt color, not the guy… his name’s Phil.

A few months ago I saw a few teachers wearing matching kelly green sweat shirts. I found the scene slightly off-putting and I think it was because of those green sweatshirts. Kelly green sweatshirts… I don’t know, I just didn’t particularly care for them at all. This got me to thinking about kelly green. It’s one of my least favorite of the greens. If you ask a person on the street what their favorite color is and they say green, and then follow-up with, “What do you think of kelly green?”, I wouldn’t be surprised if they say something like, “Ugh, kelly green is the worst green.”Continue reading

A few days ago I decided to get some coffee at Starbucks on my way to work.  As I was waiting for my coffee two guys, maybe in their mid-twenties, came in and got in line to place their orders.  The barista making the coffees greeted the two.

“Welcome to Starbucks, How are you this morning?”

“Living the dream.”, replied one of the young men.

A few moments passed by and then the dream liver asked the Barista, “Did you know that if you activate a new Starbucks card you may be eligible for a free drink?”  He referred to the small flyer posted on the counter next to the espresso machine.Continue reading

Lost LogoThis past TV season I and several million other people around the world were treated to the series finale of LOST. Rather than cramming the series with more and more mysterious, dead-end plot twists (à la X-Files, Heroes, Alias), the creators of LOST determined an end date for the series and answered a myriad of questions along the road to the finale, satiating most of LOST‘s devout followers. Yeah, creator writer producer dudes!Continue reading

Pa pa pa poker face pa pa poker face

Pa pa pa poker face pa pa poker face

I had the opportunity to play poker with a group of guys a few weeks ago.  Before heading to the game I did a little homework and studied up on whether a flush beats a straight or vice versa (a flush DOES beat a straight as it turns out.).  Having studied up on the rules I felt pretty good about how the night of poker would turn out.  When I arrived at the poker party that evening I discovered just how unprepared I was.Continue reading

Name tagSo I was talking to a friend of mine Sunday morning after church.  I say he’s a friend of mine, but in actuality he’s more of an acquaintance seeing as how I only see him on Sundays…Actually, some Sundays I don’t see him at all.  I’m guessing maybe I see him once or twice a month.  He’s a nice guy, very friendly.  What I’m getting at is that I’ve seen and have known him for several months now, but I see him on such a limited basis that I don’t remember his name and I feel that our relationship has gone past that point where it would be “okay” for me to say to him, “I’m sorry, but I’ve forgotten your name.  Could you tell me what your name is again please.”  Ouch, right?  Awkward.Continue reading

grocery cartHave you ever been in the grocery store parking lot and watched as a customer parks a grocery cart next to their car, places the grocery bags into their car, and then proceeds to leave the cart a few feet from their car, say in the parking space right next to their vehicle?  Seeing people do this perturbs me a bit.  After putting my bags in my car I always try and place the cart in the cart return, but I’ve noticed at the grocery store I frequent the cart returns seem to be placed for the grocery workers convenience and not the convenience of the customers.  Conspiracy?  I think so, and I’m crying foul.Continue reading

Generous-GrandmotherMy daughter has one of the most generous grandmothers.  She has really been a big help to my wife and me when we first made the move to Washington and she continues to help in any way she can.  Many times when we’re all traveling together on an outing or “eating out” she’ll offer to pay, and she will sincerely have the desire to pay when she makes the offer, but she has an uncanny ability to offer to pay and then “accidentally” find herself unable to pay.  She has been able to pull off this maneuver so frequently and in so many different ways that our response has become one of amusement and fascination.  I’m now of the mind that she is some sort of seasoned veteran of this very unique art form; a Jedi master of the “I’ll pay, oh I can’t pay!” slight of hand.  Listed below are a few of the techniques she has mastered.Continue reading

2012Several people I know have seen the preview for the upcoming movie 2012 and have said things like “That movie’s gonna be terrible”, “That’s just over the top ridiculous.”, or “That looks so lame.”; but I’m of the opinion that impending disaster movies are exciting and fun to watch and I’m kind of looking forward to this addition to the genre.  After all it’s based on actual events that are likely to happen.Continue reading